Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
