My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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