I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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