No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
