Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
