Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
God, I missed his penis.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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