Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
