I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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