Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
