do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
