im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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