The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize