capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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