The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
