haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
