You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
