So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I love you. Go after that dick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize