problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
