Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
