New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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