There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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