Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
