"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
