I could have mohawked her pubes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
