Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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