i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
