My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
