Sponge bath it is.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
