You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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