i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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