4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
