i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
