I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
