Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
