Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
