new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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