I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
