why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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