I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize