It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
