Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
