look no pants
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
