this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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