YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
