mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
