God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
