I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
