Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
