he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
