my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
