why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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