I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
