Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
