what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
