All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
