Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
