being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize