Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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