There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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