i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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