The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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