Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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