If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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