So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
